Have you ever wondered how your grandmother managed 10 kids all on her own? You have never heard any one of them complaining to her that they were neglected. All of them were given utmost care; you have heard your mother talk lovingly about the time her mother spend with each one of them, the endless hours of care and love she showered on them…
And here, you are struggling with just two and do not know how to divide your time effectively between the two! You seriously need to take a cue from your grandmother. Motherhood and nurturing comes naturally to some. For some others, it’s a struggle all throughout and they reach nowhere, nor do they improve in their attempts. For all ye mothers out there, who are struggling to make your kids’ life better, here are certain ways to manage your new born baby and a toddler with panache.
Never Let Your Toddler Feel Neglected
We all agree that the arrival of a newborn changes your world topsy-turvy. But as a mother, your responsibility towards your older kid has not ceased. Though you may not be able to spend as much time as you can with your toddler, try to make up all the time possible for him so that he does not feel neglected. The time that your newborn sleeps can be utilised to be with your toddler.
Talk to him, play with him and read stories to him. Probably this could be a very exhaustive period for you. You could seek the support of your parents at this time. They can move in for a while to take some of the responsibilities out of your shoulders. Whatever way you plan to do it, never make your toddler feel neglected. Spend time whenever you are free. A big hug can make all the difference…
Get Involved Together
While you may not be able to give all your time for your toddler, you can plan ways by which you can do things together. This can be singing rhymes together for the baby. Helping to give the baby a bath. Lulling him to sleep, playing with him, making faces at the baby. These are little activities that your toddler as well as your baby would enjoy tremendously.
Doing activities together will not only leave them with a sense of achievement, but will also give them a chance to feel responsible for the newborn and develop an attachment towards them. These activities will keep you near your toddler and the baby for the longest time. Getting involved together is one of the best ways to manage both your newborn and toddler.
Individual Time They Cherish
Until now your toddler was used to you spending loads of individual time with you. A drastic change from that will surely affect him even if you plan as much fun time as possible by doing activities together. Therefore finding individual time for your toddler is very important to keep him happy and without feeling left out.
You may want to spend time with him reading drawing or playing in the park. These are activities that you can still do while your baby is by your side or when he is sleeping. If these are difficult to fit in, you can arrange for a babysitter for a couple of hours and take him out shopping. The individual time that you give him will be etched in his memory for ever and would be sweet instances that he can recall back when he grows up.
Importance of Discipline
To manage a newborn and toddler effectively, discipline plays an important role. A well disciplined child will give you less reason to worry than a child who is undisciplined and wild. Teach him the basics of discipline before your newborn arrives. Disciplining does not mean that you have to say ‘no’ to whatever he does. It is about learning to understand what is good and what is bad.
Discipline your toddler in such a way that he learns to listen to you when you say ‘no’. Explain to him the reason as to why you say no to certain things and what harm can come to him if he does it. That way he understands what you say and makes an effort to stick by the rules. Disciplining your toddler is the first step towards effectively managing your time with both your children. A well disciplined child will learn to adjust to the situation and will be much more understanding.
Let Him Get Exposure to the Outside World
This is probably the right time to introduce him to a playschool where he can meet other kids of his age. Getting along with new kids and participating in great activities in the school will make him more outgoing and pleasant. This will also provide you with enough time to organise your time effectively.
By the time your toddler is back from school you would have completed a number of jobs at hand and can spend the rest of the time with him and the newborn. You may also think of catching up with some sleep while your toddler is not around.
Most mothers are sleep deprived and this affects their ability to do their motherly duties well. Ensure that you get good sleep in order to keep you kids happy and manage them well. A mother who is sleep deprived can never give that exclusive individual attention to your toddler.
Take your Children Out
Playtime in the park along with the baby in a pram can do a lot of good for you as well as your children. Lot of fresh air, walking exercise for you and enjoyment for your toddler. Leave him with kids of his age so that he can enjoy tremendously. Let your newborn enjoy the surroundings as well. This would also be your time to rewind. Catch up on some neighbourhood gossip, chat with your friends and exchange notes with other mothers. Doing all these will make your life and kids very manageable.